Query Letter Critiquing

Many of us don't think about critiquing and editing our query letters as much as we do our novels, but we should. Not editing your query letter is like getting ready for work in the pre-dawn without the bathroom light on. Not that I've done that, much. You only get one chance to make a first impression and how much time you take on it will show. To help you with how to critique query letters I am posting my own and opening it up to constructive feedback. My critique sisters will be commenting and you are welcome to as well. I shall take the feedback, rewrite the query letter, and post the revision next Wednesday to show you the evolution process. Here is the rough version:

Dear    ,

Personal greeting as to why I chose to query this particular agent, I'm confident (don't say please, don't apologize, they want you to be confident) you'll enjoy my young adult historical fantasy To Ride A Púca. It is complete at approximately 89,000 words. Those who enjoyed The Vespertine by Saundra Mitchell and Mistwood by Leah Cypess will enjoy this as well. (Some agents like this at the beginning and some like it at the end. You can never tell which so I say choose where you like to put it!)

During the twelfth century invasion of Ireland, Emily, one of the last of the druids, must master her power to keep her kind from being annihilated. (Every manuscript needs a one-sentence pitch or logline. This is a good place for it in your query).

Her parents lied to her. They told her a druid's power was only to heal people and that hers was defective. They also said her family was the last of their kind. An accident introduces Emily to Bren and an entire clan of other druids. From Bren she learns there are two kinds of druids, those that heal, and those that can use their power to fight. Turns out her power isn't so useless after all. But Emily doesn't have much time to master it before the invaders from across the ocean arrive. A betrayal brings them to her front door in search of a healer for their wounded. Emily's mother is given a week to heal the son of the warlord or they'll return to slaughter her entire clan. The lines of enemies and friends blurs and in the end she will have to choose between her country and keeping those she loves alive. (This feels a bit long but I'm not sure what to keep and what to cut). 

I regularly attend conferences, workshops, and retreats to improve my craft and network. I am part of a critique group that exchanges material regularly. My online presence is strong and active. I am mentored by (Cut out to protect the names of the innocent. ;) If you have awards, publishing credits or the like, this is where to put them in. I do not as of yet.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Heather McCorkle

Email
Phone#

Feel free to copy and paste into the comments with your editing suggestions, or just list your suggestions. I'll try to put up a copy of my Critique Sisters edits for you to see.

~Heather

Critique Group Questionaire

Choosing a critique group is not something you should do lightly. Everyone has a differently style and different needs. It's important that you choose a group that works well for you. It is only by trial and error that my critique sisters and I have found one another. It occurred to me that there should be an easier way. From that realization came the critique group questionnaire. These are things you need to know about your fellow critiquers so you may understand one another's needs and expectations better and can get more out of your sessions.

1) What type of critiques do you give?
    A. Honest, no holds barred
    B. Constructive criticism, pointing out both good and bad
    C. Praise only
2) What type of critique are you prepared to accept (be totally honest)?
    A. Honest, no holds barred
    B. Constructive criticism, pointing out both good and bad
    C. Praise only
3) Will you be bringing a completed first draft to the sessions or is it a work in progress?
4) Are you comfortable critiquing works in genres other than your own?
5) Are you comfortable receiving critiques from writers who write genres other than your own?
6) What would you most like help with from the group?
    A. Story structure, character development, flow, voice
    B. Grammar, basic sentence structure help, spelling
    C. All of the above
7) What types of books do you read on a recreational basis?
8) What books on the craft of writing have you read?
9) Do you/have you attended conferences, workshops, or writer's retreats?
10) How would you like to exchange material?
     A. email
     B. In person
     C. Through snail mail
11) How often are you prepared to critique and how much at a time?
12) How much of your work do you want critiqued?
      A. Entire novel
      B. Select chapters
      C. Select pages
13) Please suggest a plan for exchanging critiques.
This list should help you not only choose those you will work best with, but it should also help get you started with a critiquing plan. Best of luck creating and maintaining your critique groups!

Beyond Perfecting The First Page

Many of us writers work so hard on our first page that we know most of it by heart. It's our first impression so we have done our best to make it a good one. We probably have workshopped it, had it critiqued by agents and/or editors at conferences, and had our critique partners or beta readers go over it until they never wanted to see it again. Chances are we've cut, added, and edited it until our eyes felt like they were going to bleed. But what about the rest of the novel?

That's right. Get the visine out, add an extra pillow to your chair, and limber up those wrists because your editing work has only begun with the first page. If you have polished that page like I'm certain you have then it is likely brilliant. But what if an agent or an editor asks for a partial or a full of your manuscript? What will they find on page two, page 10, or even page 100? You must think beyond that first page and prepare to work just as hard on the rest of the novel.

Once you've gone through the entire novel with as much care and precision as you have the first page, then you have something that is ready to submit. The brilliance of the first page must echo on through the novel. Come chat with us live this Thursday at 6:00pm pacific time on Twitter for the Writer's Road chat where we'll discuss this in depth. Click for a link here and then type in WritersRoad. We hope to see you there!

~Heather