Point of View... Which Shall I Use?

What point of view shall I use to write the next bestseller? An excellent question.

I wrote my aviation thriller in third person because I needed to show the motivation with each main character. It felt right because I could tell the story better, and delve into the minds of my main characters without giving away too much. The story unfolded with the complexities of what was going on within 5 POV characters. 

My current novel, I’m writing in first person because it’s all about the main character and her journey. It’s all about her voice. We don’t care what's really going on in the minds of those she deals with, because it’s her perception that brings humor to her adventure. First person works better for this story.

I received an interesting email from an author concerning this point of view question. 

G.B. said, “I wrote my novel in the third person omniscient. My editor tells me that that POV is passé today, that agents and publishers are looking for third person personal or first person POV. Have you heard that? Anyway, I'm rewriting in first person and working with her, but I'd love to send you and you trio or lovely ladies the first few chapters of my book in both versions and get your take.”

We are a trio of lovely ladies? I already love his writing. ;)

G.B. Sent me the first chapter of both. I decided to post the first couple paragraphs of each, and ask what you think.

Here we go….
 

THIRD PERSON OMNISCIENT

Lucy Volgelryder thought she was being haunted; the fact that she did not believe in ghosts made the occasional visitations no less visceral.

The first time Lucy saw the spirit was when she was nine years old and playing in the vacant lot behind Shelly Sheckter’s house. The lot backed onto the railroad tracks that sliced through the heart of Plymouth, Michigan. Sleeping over at the Sheckter’s meant lying awake listening to telescoping train whistles. Playing in the empty lot out back meant constantly having to shout over the whoosh of commuter trains and the squeak and rattle of the slower freight cars, as they rolled slowly past.

Most of the lots had high fences that cordoned off the railway right-of-way from its residential neighbors. But for whatever reason there was no such barricade at the vacant lot, just a broken down fence no higher than Lucy’s shoulders, riddled with so many gaps that anyone wagering on more holes than boards would likely double their money.

The two girls were playing catch with a softball when Shelly tossed it high over Lucy’s head. Lucy was a tall girl but not that tall. The ball landed well behind her and bounced through one of the gaping holes in the fence.

“Well?” Lucy asked expectantly.

 

FIRST PERSON POV

I am a cursed woman. Or so I believed for much of my life. I also felt I was being haunted; the simple fact that I do not believe in ghosts made the occasional visitations no less visceral.

I first saw the spirit when I was nine years old, while playing in the vacant lot behind Shelly Sheckter’s house. The lot backed onto the railroad tracks that sliced through the heart of Plymouth, Michigan.

We were playing catch with a softball when the ball sailed high over my head. It landed well behind me and bounced through one of the gaping holes in the fence that cordoned off the railroad right-of-way from its residential neighbors.

I turned to glare at Shelly. “Well?”

Thank you G.B. for sharing your work for this great discussion. I, too, have heard agents make the comment about omniscient being passé. Below are my thoughts.

You really have a way with words. I love both first lines. Both grabbing. I do think the impact of writing first person, especially since this is Lucy’s story, could be very powerful. But your omniscient third person writing style is great. I especially like the detail in the omniscient POV. I felt more on location and in the story in the first example.

Could you add more detail to the first person POV? I’ve taken what you wrote in the omniscient section and added it to the first person. What do you think?

 

 

FIRST PERSON POV

 (Karlene’s Edit)

I am a cursed woman. Or so I believed for much of my life. I also felt I was being haunted; the simple fact that I do not believe in ghosts made the occasional visitations no less visceral.

I first saw the spirit when I was nine years old, while playing in the vacant lot behind Shelly Sheckter’s house. The lot backed onto the railroad tracks that sliced through the heart of Plymouth, Michigan.

Most of those lots had high fences that cordoned off the railway right-of-way from its residential neighbors. But for whatever reason there was no such barricade at our vacant lot, just a broken down fence no higher than my shoulders, riddled with so many gaps that anyone wagering on more holes than boards would likely double their money.

We were playing catch with a softball when the ball sailed high over my head. It landed well behind me and bounced through one of those gaping holes.

           

I turned to glare at Shelly. “Well?” 

*****

I know G.B. would love to hear what you're thinking, as would I. Tell us what you think.

Thank you for sharing your work G.B!

Enjoy The Journey~

~ Karlene