Three wonderful, brave ladies have offered up their first sentences for critique. Since you peeps are so awesome I know I don't need to remind you that we want constructive criticism only. Honesty is a necessity of course, but sprinkling a bit of what you liked about it in there makes the advice go down better. Please leave comments on any one you wish but lets be sure to spread the helpfulness around if you see on that isn't getting comments. Here they are in no particular order:
Author: Joy N. Hensley
Short description: GEMMA-UP OVER YA about a girl who goes to Australia to hike after her dad dies and finds out the mom she thought was her mom isn't at all. Her mom is Australian and her dad was going to introduce them when they hiked.
First sentence: Maybe if I was wearing something that said "My dad just died and all I got was this lousy T-shirt," people would know to let me bypass all the lines and just go on my merry way.
Short description: FOXTROT is a novel about a girl who's name is no longer her own. She must decide whether to give up her old identity in order to maintain her government mandated life or hold onto the shreds that are left of her old life.
First sentence: I shift uneasily on the old wooden bench, waiting for the sunrise to give me back a sense of color.
Author: Dora Dee
Short description: The main protagonist is a nine year old girl. My novel takes place in Italy during the late 1950's.
First sentence: (in italics)Why were her mother and sister doing laundry today of all days, the last day of St. Rocco's Feast?
Sunday mornings were always loud and noisy at her house. She hadn't heard Grazia's high-pitched voice insistently asked her mother's opinion on what to where to church while desperately rummaging through their meager downstairs closet and her brothers were fighting over the bathroom like they usually did.
Thank you in advance to everyone who helps out and leaves a comment. In the meantime, the critique sisters will work on these and we'll post our results next Wednesday. Let the comments commence!