My Query Letter Critiqued

Thank you everyone for all the great feedback on my query letter. Here is the revised version:

Dear   ,

My young adult historical fantasy To Ride A Púca is complete at approximately 89,000 words. Those who enjoyed The Vespertine by Saundra Mitchell and Mistwood by Leah Cypess will enjoy this as well.

During the twelfth century invasion of Ireland, Emily, one of the last of the druids, must master her power to keep her kind from being annihilated.

Her parents lied to her. They told her a druid's power was only to heal people and that hers was defective. They also said her family was the last of their kind. An accident introduces Emily to Bren and an entire clan of other druids. She learns there are two kinds of druids, those that heal, and those that can use their power to fight. Turns out her power isn't so useless after all. But Emily doesn't have much time to master it before the invaders from across the ocean arrive. A betrayal brings them to her front door and Emily's mother is given a week to heal the son of the warlord or they'll return to slaughter her entire clan. In the end she will have to choose between fighting to keep her country or keeping those she loves alive. 

I regularly attend conferences, workshops, and retreats to improve my craft and network. My online presence is strong and active. I am mentored by (Cut out to protect the names of the innocent. ;)

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Heather McCorkle

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