"You need more character development."
What does that mean? How do you do develop your characters in 90,000 words? Especially when you have a protagonist, an antagonist, and a couple other main characters.
An additional challenge in my novel is that the entire novel spans the course of a week. One week to show, not tell, that my antagonist is a sociopath.
I've pondered this question for three weeks. Flashback came to mind. I personally don't dislike flashbacks, but I'm thinking not in this particular novel. There has to be a better way. I came up with a solution yesterday, and rewrote chapter one. Added a new chapter two. Stole the second half of chapter one and made it chapter three. Fun. And I think it works.
What I did was add a cat. Not just any cat, but my protagonist's cat that she's had longer than the husband and kids. I showed the love in chapter one. My protagonist's loving and concerned husband had a disagreement about her working, and he stormed out of the room. My protagonist leaves with the kids to walk them to the school bus. Chapter two, her husband hears the door close, returns to the kitchen and peers out the window. Then he picks up old kitty and puts her in a pink pillow case, ties it closed with a shoe lace from his wife's tennis shoe, and buries her alive in the back yard in his wife's flower bed. Bulbs, waiting to be planted. Can you guess who the antagonist is?
If this doesn't set the stage and show that my antagonist is a sociopath, I'm not sure what will. The reader will know that he's capable of anything. Thoughts?
If you have ideas on character building, we would love to hear them.
Enjoy the journey!
~ Karlene
Wow girl, WOW! I hate him instantly upon hearing that and that is perfect! I love it. Fabulous job.
ReplyDeleteYikes! This guy is a sociopath for sure. Mission accomplished. I cringed just reading the post, don't know that I'll survive the actual first chapter!! This is becoming a dark thriller that will stay in readers' minds a long time.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies... Okay, here is the question. Kalimar said that she wouldn't read on if he kills a cat. Do you think the same? Is it too dark? Any other ideas?
ReplyDeleteI think it's the little things that tell us about a character. An example from my every day life, I like Miracle Whip. My husband likes mayo. When I make a sandwich for the kids using Miracle Whip, he tells me I'm corrupting my kids and we both laugh. I don't have to tell you he's a funny guy who likes to tease. I just give an example of a time when he does that.
ReplyDeleteYou just need to write for your audience, Karlene. I don't have the stomach for this kind of thing, but that doesn't mean there isn't a huge audience that does. (Remember in the Hawaii workshop when I kept being horrified by people's violence--brothers killing sisters etc.? and Bill told me I had to get a grip and had to let some killing happen in my ms? Well, he was right, but I also might have needed a less 'deadly' orientation than a thriller workshop!) We're not all the same, and there are audiences for most of us, thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteGreat post and great advice! Thanks for this :)
ReplyDeleteSarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)
I don't think it's too dark at all Karlene. His character is dark and it reflects that perfectly. However, you don't have to go into great detail. You can lead up to it but not 'show' when he actually does it. The real question is, does Kalimar read intense thrillers? If it isn't her genre then I wouldn't worry. The scene fits for a thriller.
ReplyDeleteSociopath? No way. Just sightly misunderstood. ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat job! In my future WIP (already outlined), the antagonist kills Mr. Kitty Whiskers (just not in the first chapter). So no, I don't think it's too much.
Karlene,
ReplyDeleteThat is really disturbing... Any person that could bury anything alive is not all there.... SO excellent job. It sent shivers up my spine...
Michael
Kayeleen, Thank you for the great comment. Yes, the little things. But remember... it's okay to corrupt our kids. Payback for the teenage years.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda... but you read the story. This is not what it's about. But, it does show what Bill is capable of. That's what I want the reader to know. But not at the expense they won't read it. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah! I hope it was great advice. It took me weeks to think of it. :)
ReplyDeleteAh Stina, Thank you!!! Not Mr. Kitty Whiskers. This gives me hope I'm on the right path.
ReplyDeleteThank you Heather! No... she doesn't. She just loves animals. But I was thinking that most little kids who kill animals for joy, turn out to take up that game in adulthood. You're right... good for the genre. And, no detail beyond that. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh Thank you Michale! That is exactly what I wanted... the belief they could do anything. And he does. Thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm assuming he goes on to do much worse things, so killing the kitty is probably a good lead-in to that. (poor kitty)
ReplyDeleteerica
Great when the ideas come. You used your writer's mind to get to the core of your character. Job well done!
ReplyDeleteNow, what else you got?
Talk about building character. Very nice! If you're story is dark and your character is this disturbed, I say go with it. This is what makes a story great! :)
ReplyDeleteKarlene, I think you nailed it right on the spot. My husband always says that you need a bit of shock factor to grab your audience's attention. Don't scare them away, but just shock them a little bit to get them hooked and to keep reading. People have a natural, morbid curiosity. I think you just did a perfect job of grabbing that curiosity by the nose... now you only need to lead the reader where you want with it!
ReplyDeleteI'm shuddering big ti e but I want to know more!
ReplyDeleteThat was supposed to be "big time". LOL
ReplyDeleteI think character building is the most challenging and most exciting part of writing. I love exploring my characters and getting to know them. I think of it like acting. I have to be able to talk with their voice.
ReplyDeleteJust popped over from Carolina's blog to say hello, and follow. Good to meet you.
Erica, you are so right! He does do really bad things. Now we can all believe it. Poor kitty for sure! Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteLorelei, Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support.
ReplyDeleteThank you Melissa. This guy is really sick. Now everyone will believe it. Yeah.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elisabeth! Yes... we do have a morbid curiosity for sure. I told him he had a smart wife and to listen to her...now I can tell you the same thing about him. Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sonja! Keep shuddering...it gets worse. I lose my M every once in awhile too!
ReplyDeleteHi Tony, Nice to meet you too! Thank you for popping over. And, for your comments about talking with their voice. I completely understand, and do that too. It's a great way to get into their head.
ReplyDelete