tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post1236025304828339177..comments2024-03-12T05:11:42.096-07:00Comments on Write of Passage: First Sentence CritiquesLinda Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464543671077860561noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-23419433650036149782011-08-13T08:30:17.380-07:002011-08-13T08:30:17.380-07:00Michael thanks for your good wishes and as for you...Michael thanks for your good wishes and as for you three critique sisters...you may just be our Fairy Godmothers! Thanks for being sooo kind.Dora Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05053336278338283781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-56870462050804540842011-08-12T01:40:33.290-07:002011-08-12T01:40:33.290-07:00Joy, Dora and Grechen... Thank you for participati...Joy, Dora and Grechen... Thank you for participating! And Heather, I'm looking forward to joining in the discussion.Karlene Petitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17910702587514001827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-75045958411317352102011-08-11T11:23:24.733-07:002011-08-11T11:23:24.733-07:00Fantastic, we've got our three from Joy, Dora,...Fantastic, we've got our three from Joy, Dora, and Grechen! Thank you for participating ladies. I'll post your sentences next Wednesday and invite reader feedback while the critique sisters work on them.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05130733681254163610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-45184795466029320442011-08-10T16:41:00.880-07:002011-08-10T16:41:00.880-07:00Love this idea, Heather, and I look forward to hel...Love this idea, Heather, and I look forward to helping. People in the blogosphere are fabulous at this, and have certainly helped me with first lines and first pages. This will be fun.Linda Grayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18001433214194860481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-41482158628198639602011-08-10T16:01:14.747-07:002011-08-10T16:01:14.747-07:00Ladies you truly are inspiring. A wonderful idea. ...Ladies you truly are inspiring. A wonderful idea. Good luck you three.Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-10426472268008921202011-08-10T10:47:10.944-07:002011-08-10T10:47:10.944-07:00I'm away from my laptop so can't post now,...I'm away from my laptop so can't post now, but it's such a great idea!Lydia Kanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00484415427764822386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-61860248537741860382011-08-10T10:43:43.279-07:002011-08-10T10:43:43.279-07:00Great idea. I don't have anything I need help ...Great idea. I don't have anything I need help with, but I'll try to come back and lend a hand.Matthew MacNishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-75843390425872785912011-08-10T10:41:27.568-07:002011-08-10T10:41:27.568-07:00Apologies. I'm using my blackberry which make...Apologies. I'm using my blackberry which makes my entering comments very trecherous. I didnt notice you specifically asked for novel openings and not short stories but once I entered it I could delete it amd I didn't want to lose my place in line. Thanks in advance!Dora Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05053336278338283781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-49973386385278724712011-08-10T10:31:03.634-07:002011-08-10T10:31:03.634-07:00Yes me too! Would love feedback. The main protag...Yes me too! Would love feedback. The main protagonist is a nine year old girl. My novel takes place in Italy during the late 50's.<br /><br />Why were her mother and sister doing laundry today of all days, the last day of St. Rocco's feast? (In italics)<br /> Sunday mornings were always loud and noisy at her house. She hadn't heard Grazia's high-pitched voice insistently asked her mother's opinion on what to wear to church while desperately rummaging through their meager downstairs closet and her brothers weren't fightng over the bathroom like they usually did. <br /><br />A I also have a short story<br />"What should he do? Pete kneeled next to the badly injured motorcyclist, trying to remember what he was taught during the first-aid course he took so long ago, when his daughter was just born.Dora Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05053336278338283781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-26922813114616677902011-08-10T10:27:51.038-07:002011-08-10T10:27:51.038-07:00I'm game. Foxtrot is a novel about a girl who...I'm game. Foxtrot is a novel about a girl who's name is no longer her own. She must decide whether to give up her old identity in order to maintain her government mandated life or hold on the shreds that are left of her old life.<br /><br />First sentence: I shift uneasily on the old wooden bench, waiting for the sunrise to give me back a sense of color.Grechenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11067098247432800552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377741836634273944.post-89946772572762676472011-08-10T09:16:09.440-07:002011-08-10T09:16:09.440-07:00Oh, yes please! GEMMA UP-OVER is a YA about a girl...Oh, yes please! GEMMA UP-OVER is a YA about a girl who goes to Australia to hike after her dad dies and finds out the mom she thought was her mom isn't at all. Her mom is Australian and her dad was going to introduce them when they hiked!<br /><br />First sentence:<br /><br />Maybe if I was wearing something that said “My dad just died and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” people would know to let me bypass all the lines and just go on my merry way.Joy N. Hensleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05571901053323072090noreply@blogger.com